The eHarmony etiquette guide



It can be hard to know the unwritten rules of any new technology or culture. For example, most regular internet users now know that using CAPS when writing something online is often perceived as shouting – but anyone new to technology probably wouldn’t know that. So to make it a little easier, weave compiled a guide to your most common questions about using eHarmony the ‘right’ way.

Be clear from the start with a match

When you reach open communication with a match, it’s a good idea to lay out the ground rules of how you will communicate – how often you will be in touch, promising to let each other know if you will be unable to communicate for any reason.

Keep it brief

If you’ve gone through Guided Communication you will probably have lots to talk about with your match. But, rather than making your first few messages essay length, ask just a couple of questions. You will find it less of a task to write a smaller email, and your match won’t be left feeling overwhelmed.

Conversation is a two-way thing

In Open Communication you can write as many messages as you like, but remember that it should be a dialogue. Never write more than a couple of messages without getting a response – it can look desperate, and will give your match the wrong impression.  If you feel the urge to send your match an unprompted message, check how long it’s been since their last message. You can also read our email dos and don’ts here

Don’t say anything you wouldn’t say in person

It’s easy to say things on email that you wouldn’t say in person. While it’s important to ask your match certain things, don’t ask them any questions you’d be embarrassed to ask in person. They may feel you are prying – or they may return the ‘favour’.

Stay safe
Only share personal information when you’re ready. Don’t let anyone press you into giving out your contact details – even your email address. Remember that Open Communication on eHarmony gives you a level of safety as we don’t reveal any of your personal details, and once you’ve given out your personal information you can’t take it back. If you have any concerns about an eHarmony member, let us know at [email protected]

If these pointers seem obvious to you – well done, you’re already one of our clued up members. But for some users internet dating can be a bit of a minefield, and it’s important to be as knowledgeable as possible. If you need any more information, our Help section is full of practical tips.

If this article gave you the confidence to find your match, try eHarmony today!

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